Author: Dad

Dad Feeds His Family

by Dad, Posted on

Once upon a time there was a large family struggling to get by but nevertheless succeeding. With six kids and a crazy dog, there were a lot of mouths to feed and not much to feed them with. The father of the family saw this issue and continued to work hard to supply for his family. But that’s when disaster struck. One normal day while the family was visiting a campsite they owned out in the woods there was a zombie outbreak.

The zombies were a special breed that specifically targeted well populated areas and because of that it was safest for the family to stay at the campsite. There was plenty of water (not necessarily clean) and places to sleep (though they were rough). The one thing the family was short on was food- possibly the hardest thing to come by but also the most important.

Looking at his starving children, the father knew he had to do something and with that he took the only weapons he had, a knife and an old gun with very little ammo, and set out to find food, leaving his worried children behind. Once the father got a ways off into the woods he started his deer call. A supposed super power, though less impressive than his abilities with bears, he could attract any deer with in a five mile radius.

Within minutes a doe appeared and the father hunted it, killed it, skinned it, and prepared it to be eaten. He dragged the heavy doe back to his children all on his own and gave it to his wife to cook on the fire she had prepared as he sat back. He relaxed from his hard work as the tasty smell of venison permeated the air and his children were fed.

Bella Paints Off

by Dad, Posted on

It was a nice day me and Bella were sitting in the park. All of a sudden a stranger comes up to us and says ‘I am the best painter in the world!

Bella said ‘yeah right’ then the guy wanted to have a paint off. So bella got out her paint brushes and I got out my phone and put on a stopwatch. I put it on 10 minutes as I said go both of them started painting really fast, after 2 min the stranger was doing better. Bella had saw that too. So she just started trying as hard as she could, and after 5 min she was wooping him. She kept trying, more, and more. Until the 10 min were done, the painting was so good that it got sold for 10 million dollars. Then our whole family had a very rich life, and bella had a lot more paint battles.

One time bob ross came up to Bella and wanted to have a paint off 30 minutes he said, I got out of stop watch and put 30 minutes in. They were both really quick it was so hard to judge who was doing better we had to send if off to professionals after 40 days we had an answer bella had lost, she was crying, I was crying, dad was crying, even buddy was crying. So she decided to not have any more paint offs and whenever anyone challenged her she said no. Until one day Bob Ross came back and wanted another challenge. So bella had decided to say yes for revenge, I got out of stop watch for 30 minutes and clicked go. Bella had been doing much better than last time she was doing so good we had so much people watching and after the paint battles she had won, many professionals had said hers was better, that painting had sold for 20 million dollars being her best one yet.

Mom Has A Dream

by Dad, Posted on

Vickie woke up and stared at the ceiling. It was 4:30, and was expected at the photo shoot at 6:30, leaving her with just a little time to prep before leaving. She prepped, then waited for her chauffeur to arrive. When he did they exchanged some boring small talk, none of it worth mentioning, and even if it was she couldn’t remember what was said anyway.

She arrived to her shoot at 6:30, went through the extremely boring poses, dealt with all the people being insincerely kind to her, and generally did what she was supposed to do. She could make a scene, but it would only result in hundreds of reporters harassing her about it, attacking her because she was fed up with the insincerity that seemed to surround her everywhere. She could see the headline now. ‘Clooney Wife Loses It At Photo Shoot’ Then it’d be some article basically slandering her and proclaiming she was the next Hitler.

After the photo shoot, she went and got lunch at some café, and dealt with reporters asking her provoking questions, either that or extremely boring ones like swimsuit preference. After this she went home, and sat on the couch and ate celery alone while skimming her twitter, because there was literally nothing else to do.

She got in an argument with some radical hater, and although she was sure her agent was going to chew her out about it, she didn’t care, and was not afraid to publically shame someone who was so bad-natured. After this, she decided to go to a salon, because there was honestly nothing better to do.

She went to the salon and got her nails done, but they weren’t even done how she wanted. At this point she couldn’t find the reason to actually care, tipped the Asian who did the job, and had her chauffeur pick her up. She had walked here originally, but no longer felt like being alone.

His company didn’t carry much substance. When she got home she didn’t really have anything to look forward to. She ended up eating dinner with George, but as always, she only saw him maybe a few times a week, and it was always incredibly lacking in much emotion or even conversation that seemed relevant.

She had it. There seemed to be nothing to do, so she took the keys to his Camaro, and went for a little spin. She was heading towards a drag race track, and even though she knew it would only result in chaos in the media, she went along anyways. As she passed through an intersection, she suddenly saw the semi that slammed into her.

Vickie woke up and looked to her side. Gus, her youngest son, 6 at the time, had a nightmare and was tugging her shirt. She looked to her left and saw Eric, and gave Gus a hug, and got up to talk with him and make him feel better.

Thomas Gives What He Has

by Dad, Posted on

It was a cold night. My brother and I, Thomas, were out in the cold arctic freezing cold. We would have to travel 30 miles to get to our destination, a town, with only a shotgun with 10 shots, 2 blankets, and 4 water bottles and 4 canned soups. We took some bushes and found a flint rock to make a fire under a tree then gathered branches and built a shelter. He said I could take a rest so I did while he stood up guarding the shelter. I set up a place in our small uncomfortable shelter and went to sleep.

I Woke up at 3 AM to see Thomas still awake looking very tired. I told him I can guard now but he said he has it. I wasn’t tired and I insisted on doing it, but he wouldn’t let me and told me to go back to sleep. I took a water bottle and drunk a little saving all we have and watched Thomas guard. After an hour of nothing, I got tired and fell asleep. I woke up at seven to Thomas tapping me on the shoulder telling me it’s time to move forward. It was a lot colder and I wanted to stay near the fire, but I grabbed the stuff and went forward. After 7 miles, we were so tired and decided to take a rest. “Shh” Thomas said. And 3 howls coming from the mountain could be heard. We got up immediately and charged towards. We saw the wolves coming and we immediately shot fired towards them. We shot twice and hit once scaring the others off and kept running until 6 miles. It was super cold and we decided to take a break. I sat there shivering with no fire. We both got 2 cans and 2 water bottles then Thomas said, “want my water bottle?” I was almost out of water so I accepted and drunk half of it. Then he offered me his blanket knowing I was cold, but I knew he was cold also. I said no but he insisted. I said I wasn’t that cold then saying he was going to need it, then we fell asleep.

I woke up to Thomas sleeping, with his blanket tied to a blanket waving it in the air and a helicopter flying towards us. They came down and picked us both up and we were saved. Thomas gave me the rest of his water for the way back. This shows how Thomas is always there to give me something I want if he has it.

King Sam

by Dad, Posted on

King Samuel sat at his throne, twisting his staff in his hands.  He had already taken care of his duties for the week and no problems had arisen in his kingdom.  This had left him quite bored and lonely, as the rest of his village had to attend to their daily jobs.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and the guards parted their swords to let whoever was there inside.  Another guard walked in, dragging a handcuffed man with him.  The man looked thin and cold with not much to shield him against the crisp winter air outside.

“I’m sorry to bother you my liege, but this man has been causing quite the ruckus,” the guard said, tightening his grip as the man struggled.

“That’s not true, I-,” he tried to make out.

“Quiet!” the guard interrupted.

King Samuel held his hand up to stop the guard and gestured towards the man to come closer.  He shuffled towards Samuel with his head down.

“Tell me your side of the story,” Samuel said.

“I had been searching for food all day and had grown quite weary as well as my fingers turning blue.  That’s when I smelled the most delicious fragrance I had ever encountered.  Next to me was a restaurant and inside I saw people eating such beautiful lasagna.  Although my pockets were empty, I had to have some.  That’s when the owner found me rummaging through the trash and called the nearest authority,” the man said quietly.

King Samuel paused for a minute before speaking again. “What’s your name?”

“It’s Rowley, sir.”

“Call me Samuel, please.  Now this restaurant, do you remember its name?”

“I believe it was called Larose’s.”

King Samuel gestured for his guard to approach and leaned down to whisper into his ear.  He gave Samuel a confused look before quickly leaving the room.  He returned a few moments later, un-cuffing Rowley and handing him some warmer clothes.

“Your table is ready, sire.” The guard said to King Samuel. “The food shall arrive shortly.”

Kind Samuel led Rowley into a room to change, then brought him to a rather large and beautiful dining room.  The ceiling went up at least 40 feet and the room had lots of beautifully crafted furniture.  In the middle was a table with two places set.

Rowley and Samuel each took a seat at the table and waited for the foot to come.  The owner and servers of the restaurant brought out two large dishes of lasagna with multiple sides.  As Rowley and Samuel began to dig in, Kind Samuel turned to Rowley.

“You were right; this is the most amazing lasagna I’ve ever tasted!”

Ronnie Discovers a Power

by Dad, Posted on

Ronnie Roo walked back and forth in her tiny room, her hands clasped behind her back, her lips tightly pursed and slightly frowning.  Every now and then she would stop pacing, put her right hand to her chin, and say, “Hmmm.”  Then she would shake her head and continue as she was.

After ten minutes of this, she finally forced herself into the chair at her desk and set her fingers to the keyboard of her old IBM typewriter.  “I’m gonna do it,” she said.  “I don’t care what I write, but I’m gonna write it.  No matter what comes out, that’s what gets written.”  It was, and always had been, her sheer determination that pushed her.  She had worked hard to get where she was, and a little writer’s block was NOT going to take her down.

Her fingers started moving, and before long, she had her first sentence:

I looked over across the room, and noticed a cold glass of Mountain Dew on the counter, drops of condensation dripping down and puddling around it.

As she finished, she looked up and suddenly noticed the drink on her counter, exactly as she had described it on the page.  Startled, but committed to finishing her story, she started writing again:

Before long, a knock at the door.

And just as she finished writing it, there was a knock at her door.  Rushing over, she opened it.  No one was there.  “Of course not,” she thought, “I haven’t said who yet.”  So she sat down again to write:

It was an anvil salesman.

It took her five minutes to convince the visitor that had interrupted her that she had absolutely no need or desire for an anvil.  Once he was gone, she thought for a few moments, trying to think of something that could never in a million years be considered a coincidence:

Quite suddenly, a blue penguin walked in through the window, picked up the glass of Mountain Dew, and drank it.

She had never seen a blue penguin… not until the very moment she finished typing.  When he had finished the drink, and gone back to wherever it is that blue penguins come from, Ronnie considered her new found power and tried to think of a way she might take advantage of it.  Finally, she smiled and wrote:

My mind went blank.  Without even thinking about it, I quickly typed up a full length, award winning novel, finishing it just as a book publisher called me to ask if I had anything they could use this summer.

Good Old Gus

by Dad, Posted on

A light in the dark. An expression that almost entirely sums up Gus. No matter what’s going on around him, no matter how hard everything appears the kid always finds a way to be positive. Whether it be through practical jokes, such as jumping out behind corners, or dumb funny stories- he’s always been able to find a way to smile. (Even if his jokes don’t ACTUALLY scare anyone). Whether he’s rambling on about Minecraft Youtubers that make him happy or something called a raid (that I’m pretty sure isn’t actually illegal) he can find a way to make conversation.

Though very proud of his computer, he is always willing to share it or his laptop with others so everyone can play together. And even though he tends to troll, the kid plays a mean game of Town of Salem. He doesn’t only excel in computer games though, oh no, if you ask him, he will show you the sickest beat box a 12-year-old has ever accomplished. On top of that he’s creative and even though his scary drawings and stories about cryptoids and creepy pastas are a bit disturbing- there is no denying the creativity behind them.

I could easily talk about how Gus, as the youngest child, is the innocent glue of the family that reminds us to keep it light and that though life may be hard it is meant to be lived to its fullest capacity. Or I could talk about how he’s a bit spoiled but that only means he has a bit more love in him that he can give out to everyone else. Or I could talk about how he’s always down for a fun adventure, having not had too many of his own yet- but those aren’t the things that makes Gus Gus. That’s what makes Gus the youngest sibling (which is an amazing thing in its own), but anyone can have a youngest brother. No one else can have a Gus.

Ronnie And The Wolves

by Dad, Posted on

It was a horrid night. There was a cold breeze out in the night. Me and my sister, Veronica, were home alone. There were no sounds but the lone coyote. You could hear the howl of a wolf followed by 3 other howls. That means there was going to be a war. Me and my sister were sleeping in while the wolves and the coyote strike at each other. Something in the distance not a growl, not a howl, but a giant big RAWR. The coyote ran and the wolves marched while me and my sister were on the porch.

We were too young to know how to call the police or even use a phone so we waited and waited for the war to be done. Of course, the fearless wolves won and marched one by one at our porch. My sister told me to head downstairs and to lock the basement while she yells for help. She was calling for help but it was too late because, the wolves were hungry and angry. She does whatever she could to keep them away from the basement but there were too many and she screamed one more time for help then *BOOM* a gunshot scaring them away. this shows how her only objective is to keep me safe forever.

Thomas Saves The Cat

by Dad, Posted on

Once upon a time, near the cornfield, on the corner of the north bend of the Ohio River, lived a mom,
dad and their 6 kids. They didn’t have many neighbors and the one’s they had were very kind. And every
kind neighbor had a pet or two.

Now all the neighbors liked the 6 kids but the middle boy, Thomas, was the most famous. He would
always be willing to help them with their roofs, or help them shovel their snow. And all the other kids in
the neighborhood used to love to try and beat him at races. But he always won, cause he was fast as
lightening.

He also loved helping around the house. He would mow the lawn and always feed their super dog, Dixie.
And Dixie the dog, would always look to Thomas for water or food. And of course, Thomas always
shared his food with Dixie…especially peas.

One day when Thomas the fastest 11 year old in North Bend was taking Dixie out, he heard a faint crying
Meow. He looked all around and couldn’t find the source. He didn’t give up searching and after a few
minutes Thomas’ friend, T-dog came over and was upset. Thomas, being such a thoughtful and caring
friend asked him what was wrong. And T-dog told him, his new kitty was missing.

Thomas said, ‘” hey listen, I hear a kitten crying, maybe it’s your kitty.’ T-dog and Thomas starting
looking again and up high in the tree was T-dog’s new little Kitten. He was stuck. T-dog started to climb
the tree but started to fall. He couldn’t reach the kitty.

T-dog ran off to ask a neighbor for a ladder, but the new kitty started to slip and Thomas knew that the
kitty would fall soon. So like the super athelete, he was. He climbed the tree, up and up, until he was
next to the kitty. And just as the kitty lost his grip on the limb, Thomas snatched him up.

Thomas was up high and the kitty was using his nails to hang on to Thomas and scratching him in the
process. But Thomas held that kitty tight and managed to climb down the tree. T-dog and the neighbor
watched him save the kitty. In the end, Thomas was the hero. Of course, it was no surprise to his mom
cause his mom always knew he could climb like a monkey and had the heart of a hero!

Sam The Sport

by Dad, Posted on

In a small village east of Indianapolis but west of Terre Haute, a young boy stared at his desktop… at the lumpy rag he could just barely see. Beneath the rag, was his prized possession. His Bee-Whacker. A gift from his father on his thirteenth birthday, who thought him old enough to start on his Bee-Whacking apprenticeship. He had a hard time sleeping, knowing that early in the morning his brother would take him Bee-Whacking. He finally drifted to sleep, and dreamt of becoming the Bee-Whacking champion, and of people comparing him to the ultimate Bee-Whacker, Sam.

The next morning, he rushed out with his brother, not even bothering to stop for breakfast. His Bee-Whacker in hand, he was ready to take on the world, and he barely listened to the instructions given to him by his older, more experienced brother.

He saw his first bee close to the field situated near his back yard. He rushed at it and swung. The bee flew away. His brother had stopped walking, and simply watched, while he went from one bee to another, swinging, and mostly missing.

After his tenth swing, he grew frustrated. He threw the Bee-Whacker to the ground and stomped his feet. “I’ll never be a good Bee-Whacker,” he yelled. “I’ll never be like Sam.”

His brother sighed and put his arm around the boy. “Listen, being a good Bee-Whacker is more than just being able to hit them. If you want to be a good Bee-Whacker, you have to look at the great ones—at how they lived their lives… not just how they whacked bees.

“Sam the Man wasn’t just good at swinging a Whacker, he was a sportsman, through and through. He had patience, and he didn’t let himself get angry when things went wrong. He treated everybody with respect, and never tried to hurt people. If you want to be more like Sam, you have to learn about his overall character, and emulate that. Then you’ll become a truly great Bee-Whacker.”

“You’re right,” the boy said. “I’m gonna try to be more like Sam.”

“You mean you’re going to try to be more like Sam,” his brother said. “Remember… Sam didn’t care for grammatical errors. They called him English.”

“Okay,” the boy said, smiling. “Let’s go whack some bees. Maybe I’ll even hit one so hard it’ll stick to the Bee-Whacker.”